Hole

My husband came home today with a hole in his head.

It is always a convoy going somewhere mission nowhere

A bomb going off a head exploding like this or this or this

We go to the VA hospital.  From the pieces of missing skull

Now there are metal plates and a hole to relieve the pressure

The pressure will be great they say and I know they are right

Because it already is.  It is about movement and the lack of it.

A bomb lodged under a Jeep forcing it up in the air forced up

The air and his body and this head.  Even here in this country

How we stand still as if the war is not happening.  How his life

Is moving despite not moving.  Tectonic plates metal plates.

He is a veteran now and I am his wife.  He has a license plate

And health insurance.  They say a hole is what is missing

What is taken away the milky negative space on an x-ray

But I know otherwise.  For the first time I will go back.

I will go back to my hole and stand before it like this

A dusty snow angel giant hole this mass grave of mine

And I will see.  How it is here.  How it is still here.

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