Want

They do not know what it is like

To marry a man who goes away

And comes back completely different,

Or what it feels like to stand in a kitchen

With a man who is dissatisfied with it all,

With his life and with you, so frustrated

That this did not turn out like he wanted.

Because men on the ground of Afghanistan do a lot of wanting.

A deployment is twelve months of wanting something else,

Wanting something more, something more than this,

Sitting in a tent, laying in a cot, driving patrol,

Just thinking about their lives and what they want

When they come home.  And when they come home,

And you are no longer what they want

You end up in a kitchen in a standoff.

And how hard it is to be forgotten,

And how hard it is that you cannot.

You cannot make him understand

That this is a kitchen and not a desert,

That the island between you is only Formica,

That you are his wife,

Not this enemy land he needs to scan for danger,

Regard with suspicion, or target your soft spots,

How you are his wife, imperfect but his.

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One Response to Want

  1. Thank you for this. I will remember it.

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