Calculating

My husband left for boot camp last week,

This training before he goes to Afghanistan,

And today I found out I am pregnant again.

But the biggest surprise is him, appearing,

Walking through our front door like that,

When he is supposed to be gone, wearing

Fatigues, head shaved, already thinner,

Saying something about a 24 hour leave

How he wanted to see us one last time.

Later, after our son is asleep, I tell him,

How I am pregnant, and we both sit here,

On the couch, facing a television wasting it,

The only time we have left, and I am thinking,

Thinking about how he will not be there,

Wondering who will take me to the hospital,

Who will stay with me during my c-section,

And who will watch my son while I am gone.

Six months, my husband says, staring straight ahead,

A game show on, where you can win, but only if,

Only if you have some luck.  And I realize, how

My husband has been calculating, calculating

Months and days and hours, all the time away,

Time missed, and how old his child will be,

This baby he will have never met, how old

His child will be when he comes home.

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One Response to Calculating

  1. All my thoughts and prayers for you and your family! I can’t fathom how difficult it must be for you, but you and all the others like you have my utmost respect. I’m all too familiar with the military goings on, so if you ever need someone to talk to, please don’t hesitate.

    *hugs*

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